DO Protect them. Literally. Go with them. Drive them. Hide them. Say something. Take the punch. Put your privilege in front of the danger.
DO Ask them what they need. They won’t know, but be ready to help when they do.
DO Check on them. They are fine until they are not. The point of the hate is to isolate them in despair. Look out for people who drift out of touch. Invite them to something safe. Understand when they say no. Check on them again.
DO NOT underestimate the danger. Some of your friends are in mortal danger *all the time*. It is insulting and dangerous to pretend this is not true.
DO NOT publicly share information about any of your friends which would help someone find them.
DO NOT engage with online posts. Social media generates income for views and time spent on posts. Don’t help. Don’t share, even to say you disagree. The posts are bait based on lies. They are not honest mistakes that can be corrected with dialogue.
DO NOT send your friend hate posts about them. Screenshot those, especially if they contain threats. These could be useful later but your friend doesn’t need to see them right now. People who get this a lot sometimes designate an ally to collect posts related to a specific incident or event.
DO let the world know where you stand on social justice issues. Your friend is tired of arguing for their own right to exist. Be overtly anti-racist, antifascist, anti-ableist, feminist, pro inclusion. Silence looks like consent so speak up. Do this is a separate post in your message box that doesn’t track back to the hate posts.
DO moderate the comments on any post or page you control. Otherwise you are hosting hate. Go erase those right now. If you don’t have the capacity to watch them, turn off comments.
DO mutual aid. Buy groceries. Look after their kids. Get them a tank of gas. Pay for dinner. Find them work. Give them money.
DO ask elected officials and community leaders what they are doing about hate in the communities they claim to represent. Hold them accountable for their claims. Expect action on demands made by people affected by the hate. Don’t accept more policing or tougher sentencing as solutions to complex social issues.
DO Evaluate your views on police and legal systems. Make sure your friend knows their rights, but don’t push them to report. Understand your friend stands farther from justice than you which is precisely why they have been targeted.
DO NOT hide this from your kids. Don’t show them the posts but talk to them about real dangers in the world. Help them recognize safe things, places, and people. Teach them what is safe to talk about in public and what will attract violence. Don’t make then visit relatives that won’t express joy about who they actually are. Model helping and compassion. Celebrate diversity. Be the block parent for other people’s kids. You are the village. Let them know you will love them no matter what. Then do that.
DO post positive pictures and share good news. It is spring some places. Here is a crow building a little nest to rest all its hopes in.
More: https://medium.com/@heather.libby/pronouns-in-my-ndp-convention-c7f1dfb6503c